16 Runs with 16 People: April Update (Part 4 of 6)

Run with Friend #12: Sunnybrook Park

Date: April 16, 2016, my first time running in Sunnybrook Park!

Temperature: 1-3C

Distance: 10.1K

Since most of my runs have now been with runners I haven't run with before, I often get asked about how my running goal came to be. Why did I set this type of running goal for myself? Why the number "16"? Why am I running with people outside of my local area? The answers to those are rather simple: Because I love to run and found that people I've met, rather than finishing times, have been my greatest motivators. The number 16 is pretty much random, but mathematically I thought I'd be able to get at least one running meet up a month, plus a few more in the summer months. And I don't want physical distance to be an huge obstacle for me when making connections with people, especially if they've reached out to me. Sure I won't fly across the country just to run with someone, but I'd drive to your area to meet up on a weekend morning, if it's not too far!

We planned to run 8K, but ended up running more. More running? Yes!!

And that was the original plan for our run, for me to meet Melly in her neighbourhood just outside of Toronto. Eventually this changed to meeting closer to the downtown area, since Melly knew that I wanted to fit 2 runs in that morning, with the next one being down at the Beaches with Mr. Dave Emilio. Thanks for being so flexible Melly! What's funny is that we had planned to run the Beltline Trail together, but we couldn't find a way in or maybe we just ran past the entrance, so we headed towards Sunnybrook Park instead. I had only heard about Sunnybrook Park but never run there before, so I was just as happy with this change of plans!

During our run together, Melly asked me a question that I hadn't been asked during a run yet: What's your fear? What a question! She almost had me stumped! Since we had been talking about why I started running with people I didn't know, I knew the answer. 

I have been afraid of Rejection. I see Rejection, as a kind of failure. And encountering failure is a sucky feeling. (Yes, sucky.) Failure is like quicksand. A state of mind where once you dip your toe in, once you even think "Boo. I failed.", you get stuck. Asking yourself questions like "How could I have failed?" or "Why am I such a failure?" only pulls you in quicker because you've already pinned yourself down as "failed".

Over the past year of job hunting, I have been rejected many times. You'd think that I would feel pretty indifferent about rejection by now. But I've only slowly started to genuinely accept it as part of the process. As a goal-oriented person, it's been about changing the expectations that I set for myself, and being willing to adapt my mindset so that I can still find satisfaction (staying away from the word Success here since it's often seen as the opposite of Failure) in the process of pursuing my goals. 

Telling myself to take more risks and think in a more experimental approach ("Let's try it and see if this works!" vs. "Let's get it done this way.") has been helpful for me and I keep it's this thinking that has propelled my "16 runs" project. Simply put, I'm learning to take myself less seriously! I figure that as I become asking people (whom I don't really know at all!) to run together, the easier it'll become. And if someone says no, I'll just shrug it off and move on, because it's not personal. It's just a 2 letter word and there are more people to run with! We tend to think that the worst will happen when the answer that we get is not what we imagined. If we're able to let go of imaging what will happen, that can free up space in our mind to accept alternatives. And usually good things happen. What's really funny (and amazing) is that nobody I've asked to run together has outright said No yet! 

Back to my run with Melly. After a question like that, I knew that Melly was a hard hitter. Our talk was no longer "small talk", we talked "big talk". Our 8K turned into a hilly 10K but that's how it is isn't it? When the conversation gets going and you just keep running, talk can get deep pretty fast and a longer run doesn't feel long at all. I felt totally comfortable chatting with Melly. Since our first run together, we've been in touch through our various race experiences and I've learned that she is a sassy woman who can look out for herself and one tough cookie. A cookie whose ribs keep popping out! But I'll let her tell you about that herself...

And you know what Melly and I definitely aren't afraid of? Hills!

What's your fear?

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The second part of  my Saturday morning runs coming up soon!